Dresses for weddings

Today will be a day of many things, like finishing the floor and making butter tarts. But I put those homey thoughts aside while I mull over dresses.

I was contacted by the show again and they shot me some dates. Looks like my wedding will be at the tail end of the others. I'll be using these shindigs as an excuse to get some new dresses. But alas, I need wedding-appropriate dresses and some of the items on my current wishlist just aren't up to snuff, like this one:

Obviously I can't wear a white dress to a wedding.
But it's so dang cute! No, no, I won't do it.

They say you can't wear red to weddings either. But why? Why?
Up close there's embroidery and I heart that sort of detailing.

This one is more wedding appropriate.
A splash of white is okay, isn't it?

This little number would be perfect,
if it were still in stock.

This dress is the most practical, really.
I'll probably wind up getting it.

I think I have somewhere in the neighbourhood of 35 dresses. I really believe everyone collects something. I know people who collect shoes, scarves, purses, guitars (There's an expensive venture), makeup, pet stuff, bar accessories and all sorts of things they technically don't need. The Dude collects junk he finds on the side of the road. I have my dresses.

Which is funny because I spend so little time, compared to most people, out of my house.

Floor Pt 2

Today is day two of the floor laying extravaganza. We decided not to kid ourselves with the giant linoleum rolls and went the vinyl tile route, which required yet another mystical journey to Home Depot, which sticks on the floor and is easy to cut to shape. It's actually quite perfect for a rental addition space. Regardless, it looks significantly better than grody carpeting from school portable hell.

Here is a view of the work in progress from the kitchen.

Here is the view from the middle landing.

There is the Dude measuring away.

It's been a banner day at the Jendra residence. The floor isn't the only new addition. My work delivered a new computer for me to replace my 10-year-old model. What prompted this was my wrist pain and the fact my old clunker no long ran my dictation software, and that I was slowly crippling my hands from all the straight hours of typing. When you do what I do for nearly seven years, these sorts of issues crop up.

But now with my new beaut of a computer, I can work safely again. I like that I can count on my department to take care of me in these ways when I need it. All I had to do was call and my needs were met. It's nice. I know that's what they're supposed to do, but not all places actually care.

But back to the floor, come tomorrow, things should be better. The kitchen can be cleared of clutter and junk and the (bleh) cat litter again, and resume its normal duties of just being a kitchen. The Dude will put the finishing touches on the new flooring while I try out my new Kitchen-Aid mixer and bake some happiness. The kittens, of course, will go on being kittens with fewer things to poke their noses into. And all will be well.

Home Improvement

The Dude and I are undergoing a major home project. We're property managers at our apartment, so on top of the Dude handling garbage duties, snow removal and general upkeep of common areas, we also give our landlady options to improve the place. She pays materials, we (meaning the Dude) provide the labour. We live in a better home, she has her property maintained.

So we thought (meaning I thought) the carpeting on the stairs leading to the basement was grody and had to go. It smelled, was constantly dirty and it was the sort of crummy threadbare rush job you see in school portables.

Day 1 was the day of my shower. The Dude attempted to get the materials, the bank card didn't work in three separate locations and he came home totally aggrieved and nothing got done that day.

Day 2 was yesterday. We bought the materials: vinyl flooring rolls, adhesive, adhesive trowel, a crowbar-like tool for prying nails, and a vinyl knife.

Day 3 was today. Today we lifted the carpet from the stairs. Holy merciful Jebus. The dust. The unimaginable dirt that had been sitting and living beneath this carpeting. And the nails in the runner were rusted-- and they were nails! Not screws, nails!

Here are the runners, rusted, dented

and now in need of replacing.

Here is a piece of carpet,

waiting to be disposed of in a land far, far away.

And a view of the stairs from the middle landing,

stripped of nasty carpet.

Tomorrow the real difficult work begins: the measuring and cutting of the floor, and renting a roller to lay the damn thing. But it'll be worth it. I hate that stupid carpet.

Tea Shower

I have now had three showers. The third was held yesterday by McPal and his fiance on a humid Sunday afternoon and it was the sort of day that makes you love life.

Now, these two are the sorts of people who embody all that is home and garden goodness. To that end, they held a tea party with sandwich squares: cucumber and smoked salmon, plus tuna melts. Then homemade scones with homemade cream and raspberry confit. Then petit fours and this ohmygoditssogood chocolate covered peanut butter cheesecake ball. From scratch.

They had helium balloons, white flower arrangements and we drank tea out of this charming china set on their patio, which had been decorated with white bunting.

I didn't realize they'd go to all this trouble and was even more floored to discover a group of them had gone in on a Kitchen-Aid mixer. Yeah. My friends are generous and incredibly kind people. Out of all the things I didn't see coming, that was somewhere at the top of a list I couldn't have conceived. I also received these lovely whisky glasses and chilling stones. Did you know those existed? I didn't! They're so neat!

I feel loved. Seeing my friends take pleasure in making me happy gave me a really wonderful feeling.

I held back telling the Dude about the Kitchen-Aid, wanting him to see it for himself. He was stunned. He took it inside, came back out, and snapped out of his shock enough to splutter a thank you. He was pretty touched.

And now that we're less than three months to go, things are really starting to move. There's still quite a number of things to be done, which is incredible to me considering how much I did in advance. And I'm pretty grateful I did them in advance now because although it's busier for me now, I can still take a moment to breathe and relax.

Not tonight, though. Tonight we're doing the property management thing, renting a Zipcar, and buying some vinyl flooring to replace the nasty carpet going down the stairs. Home project ahoy!

Two Showers

The showers came, the showers went and we have all the linens we'll need for years. That is, two showers are over, the ones courtesy of the Dude's family on both sides. We also got an amazing coffee maker. As I was writing thank you notes, which took quite some time for 14, it occurred to me that after the wedding, it's going to be quite a massive undertaking. Good thing I enjoy written correspondance in general.

The invitations arrived today, the boxes of the other wedding do-dads are piled up and the hall is still half-full of our new towels and sheets. What floors me is that if we still lived upstairs, we'd have nowhere to put any of this stuff. Where would it have gone? It's hard enough to store things now. These are high end problems, but damn.

But I digress. Back to the showers in our hometown. They were both done with love and were completely different from each other. On the father's side, it was an all-day potluck affair that doubled as a family afternoon on the lake. It was relaxed, there were kidlets running about, both men and women, and it was outdoors. On the mother's side, it was 2-3 hours, women only, full of laughs and indoors, with sandwiches and squares.

They were fun and generous, held Saturday then Sunday this past weekend, and was I ever beat by the time we got back into Toronto.

The next shower is a tea party McPal and his fiance are throwing for me. I'm really looking forward to it, just relaxing with friends and munching on goodies and drinking tea. I've made my feelings on afternoon tea quite clear, and I have wonderful friends.

One of the Dude's aunts said, "Enjoy your engagement. This is a magical time." I don't know how magical it is, though it's been pleasant and I was tickled by the sentiment. But I'm not a blushing bride needing instructions on her wedding night before I move into my husband's home and take his name. But I am making a formal commitment and hosting a big event. Marriage isn't quite the thorough life-changer it used to be, but going through these months and parties and making plans is kind of magical in its way. Milestones are few and far between in adulthood. It's exciting.

Bye-bye, kitties

The weekend of Dude family fun is here. We're getting picked up in 20 minutes to head to our hometown for two showers hosted by his mother at one and his stepmother at the other. Being at the centre of things in someone else's family is an odd experience, thought they'll be my family too, soon enough. And they're good people. I'm lucky in that way. I've heard some bad tales of woe about in-laws from other people, and it's always issues that began well before the wedding, but which escalated afterward. I don't feel at all concerned about this sort of thing.

It's going to be a lot of socializing, and we're leaving our kittens behind for the first time. They've grown into very affectionate kitties and I'm really going to miss them. I'm also a little concerned about them getting anxiety and acting out about it. Think urinating in the wrong places, vomiting, scratching. But we have McPal and his fiance coming to care for them, which is a load off my mind.

I'm pretty fussy about my kittens. I heart them to pieces. And that's what I love about cats, is that they're made to be spoiled. The more you indulge them, the happier and better behaved they are, which is stark contrast to other dependants, like dogs and children.

Oh, it's time to go... bye, kitties! Be good!

I'm such a suck.

Woe is Them

I'm loving Retro Camera, which means I'm loving having a smart phone. I also love Angry Birds. Ah, technology. I resist for so long, then give in randomly and fall in love. Resistance is futile.

Here's some wedding prep shots (Which I didn't intend to shoot in black and white, but oh well) I've taken of some of the things I've had delivered:

From Etsy.

The wood has been stylistically burned on one side.

These are my seating tags. Plan is to paint the untreated side of the wood with chalkboard paint. Then with a chalk marker, write the name on the rectangle and the table number on the circle. I'll tie them together with something fun and charming.

Distressed wood, mini chalkboard.

Cat not included.

Here is a sample of my table numbers, also chalkboard. Bea jumped into the picture, which conveniently gives a measure of reference for just how small and cute they are.

I didn't set out looking for chalkboard; it just sort of happened. And it's thanks to the internet and Etsy. Because of the ease of online shopping, review reading and idea gathering, wedding planning has been ridiculously easy and very pleasurable. Brides used to have to travel from store to store looking for things, comparing costs and were limited by their time and locations. Not I, not in this day and age. Pishaw! The only wedding item/product I have gone into a store to buy is my dress.

I've gotten mostly good feedback from people when I've talked about my upcoming nuptials. You tell people or others mention it, and you receive a congratulations and then perhaps you show your ring and conversation shifts to some other topic of interest.

However, nothing shows you who has emotional baggage when it comes to weddings and marriage moreso than seeing a person's reaction to someone else's engagement. People who aren't interested in marriage, but are confident in their own life choices, will be warm and congratulatory; they understand that your decisions don't reflect on them. They're happy if you're happy.

But there are those out there who only claim to be disinterested, but who clearly are nursing some issues surrounding matrimony. And it can be uncomfortable to witness because it's your life event that's bringing it out in them. For instance:

At dance class a friend was inquiring about my wedding and I mentioned I went dress shopping and found one I could afford, though it was still a lot of money to pay. A woman overheard and thought I meant the costume dresses, and mentioned some were very affordable. I let her know that I was referring to buying a wedding dress.

Her response was quick and terse: "Oh, I don't believe in weddings. I never want to get married."

Well, alright. Most people would have said, "Oh, you're getting married? Congratulations." People who are blase about marriage still know not to rain on someone else's parade, but people who have issues with it revert the focus immediately to themselves and get a little hostile. Sometimes the lady doth protesteth too much.

Another instance, an acquaintance learned I was getting married and her only comment was a question: "How old are you?" "I'm 27." (Which I was at the time) "Oh... Well, that's okay then." Oh, is it? Good news. I almost thanked her for her approval, but decided better of it. Turns out this woman has some significant relationship issues and is going through a hard time. No need to call her out, though it reenforced my opinion about the source of her rudeness.

And recently, another acquaintance learned I was engaged and her reaction was to scoff at weddings and complain about her Facebook newsfeed having nothing but marriage and baby news. No congratulations, no warm wishes, and several jabs about matrimony in general for the rest of the evening. And I barely know her. It was actually the most unpleasant out of the three.

For each of these ladies, I think they've been burned by love. I don't begrudge them their feelings, but there's something to be said for not publicly eating sour grapes over it. I don't need a fuss, but I don't terribly enjoy people I don't know well wrinkling their nose at my happiness.

Well, in three months, this era of life will be over. Funny thing, an engagement. Such a temporary state of affairs. And as much fun as it's been in many ways, I'm rather ready for it to come to a close.