Thursday, July 22, 2010

Bursting seams

The attack of the fatigue returns. It's like I'm 70 years old and I MUST nap. Yesterday I said nuts to hot yoga because I was so damn tired. Didn't think being in a hot sweaty room would exactly wake me up. Wound up sleeping for two hours instead, the sort of sleep you can't fight off.

I'm a low-energy person. Except when it's 1:00 a.m. Then I'm a high energy person, which doesn't suit my current lifestyle needs. It's all so ludicrous. My digestive system is a ongoing battle, my brain doesn't follow any sort of sun rhythms or a clock of any kind. What is this devilry? I eat right, don't smoke, don't drink very much or very often, limit my caffeine consumption and I get a relatively okay amount of exercise. My body has no business being so unreliable. And yet here I am.

Sometimes I worry about the future. Like, being pregnant, getting old or fat, falling apart at the seams. Some people feel like they're immortal. I fear jaywalking 'cause I'm convinced I'll get hit by a car. I haven't eaten McDonald's in years because it feels like it'll take root in my body and never leave. I avoid pop and fried foods because the agonies they visit upon my intestines. My legs are bowed, so I can't overstress the joints in my knees or ankles or I'll cripple myself in the future. As it is, when I run I look like a hobbled gorilla.

I'm 27 years old. All of this hardly seems right. At least my skin is good. It's pretty much all I got right now.

1 comments:

Alek said...

You also have lovely hair and good posture. :)

We're getting older. Our bodies suck. It's life. I'm learning that my stomach is pretty much going to cause me continual pain for the rest of my life, and I'm pretty much learning to accept it. Maybe that's not right, but I don't really know what to tell you otherwise. :P

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