McPal Wedding

So earlier this month my dear friends, McPal and his fiance (HUSBAND!) got married. I'm not one of those people who complain about weddings or who hates attending them. I adore weddings and this was a very special one. It's so amazing when your friends get married. They are your chosen family.

Neither of their parents attended, though. Yeah, it's the year 2014 and still there are people out there for cultural or religious reasons who allow their culture and religion to deny their children unconditional love. I've been thinking a lot about that lately.

Jack could be gay. He could marry a man one day. He's just a baby, so who he is deep down inside is a mystery. That area of his personhood is unknown. But if he's gay then it's already written into the fabric of who he'll be. And if he is, I can't imagine either A. not attending his wedding over that and B. viewing it as a negative thing in the first place.

My mom, when I was growing up, told my brother and I that if we were gay, she'd love us but also that she'd be sad because it's a harder life to live. Had she lived, she'd have been there are my wedding, no matter who I married. She'd have celebrated and shared our joy and toasted her glass. With a mother like her, being gay wouldn't have been hard for us as it is for others. There would have been no rejection from the person who's supposed to love you most.

I was the first person McPal came out to. I was not a close friend at the time and like so many before him, I was a good practice come-out. I was safe. He knew my views, and I wasn't a big part of his life. It really was an honour, though, and I think it's what really and truly kickstarted our friendship. And it means a lot to me that a meaningful friendship was ignited over an important shared experience where I could be the sort of friend that was needed.

And from that day to his wedding day, it's been wonderful to watch my friend grow into who he's supposed to be, and marry the person he's supposed to marry (Who really is quite a catch). And though nothing can really make up for the parental abandonment in this case, I hope they felt blanketed by their friends' support and good wishes. They're a very popular couple, and with good reason. Everyone loves them.

Having become a mother, myself, I don't understand their parents. I just don't get it. I wish their parents could see what they're missing. If I don't go to Jack's wedding it'll be because I'm dead or something. I can't think of another good reason to miss it.

If life gives you beautiful sons, you don't toss them aside. It goes against nature. So ultimately, it's their loss.