Tuesday, April 13, 2010


Yesterday I was out and stopped in a Shopper's Drugmart. I like to browse the magazine section. These days I'm quite into Psychology Today. I lost my interest in Cosmopolitan when sex stopped being a novel part of my life. I kid, I kid. But I mean, really. Five new sex positions? They're new if you're new to sex. 15 ways to turn on your man? Some of the things on those lists, if you don't know them by now, no magazine article can help you. Stimulate the penis... well, now there's a nifty suggestion that I'm sure no Cosmo reader has considered before.

Funny thing is you can always tell which girls have lost their virginity because they stop reading Seventeen and start reading Cosmopolitan, and then Marie Claire and Glamour. The shyer ones don't make the magazine leap, they just stop reading Seventeen.

Having grown bored of Cosmo over five years ago, and Marie Claire and Glamour following suit, I was reading nothing. I was too young to read my mother's old favourites, like Canadian Living. Tips to decorate my home and recipes for my family and advice about my children was not really relevant. Still not. Haven't even reached the bridal or pregnancy magazine stage yet.

I used to work at a bridal magazine when I was done college. I interned for three months and in that time I think I absorbed about as much as I need to of bridal everything. Oh, I loved working there. I just don't think they'd ever be of use to me for the kind of wedding I'd ever want, which is a KISS wedding. No, not the band. I'd want a "Keep It Simple, Stupid" wedding.

Tabloids are also out. I like to read them when I'm at the hairdressers and they're free and handy to pass the time. It makes getting my hair done a little extra indulgent. I like a little gossip with my hair colour. But I don't want to actually spend money on it. Gossip, like every other delicious human interaction, should be free.

So I like the pop psychology stuff. Not exactly groundbreaking material, but entertaining and neat.

It gets me thinking that there's a stage of life that's missing in the magazine rack, though. If you're a teen, you're giving more than enough titles to waste your money on. If you're well into your 30s and 40s, you're set. If you're engaged or married or a mother at my age, there's plenty. But what if you're not and you're sick to death about reading the seven special things you can do to your boyfriend's balls?

Making friends when you're out of college? Figuring out what you're really interested in aside from work? Knowing when to change careers? What kinds of theme parties would be fun to throw? Guides for organic grocery shopping and saving up for your first home? Establishing new relationships with your parents now that you're no longer a kid? How to pay off student loans and improve your credit? You know, in addition to sex, relationships and beauty topics.

If there was some sort of Quarterlife magazine out there for those of us who are still navigating these waters, I think that'd be pretty cool.


Alek said...

Holy shit, Jenn, let's start a Quarterlife magazine!!

Also, I'm a little disappointed, because I had a momentary picture of you in a wedding dress with full-on "Starchild" make-up. KISS wedding indeed.

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