Saturday, June 5, 2010

In the now

My last rant garnered a lot of attention and some thoughtful discussion. And that makes me happy. The Dude and I watched this yesterday. It's called Dreamworld 3, and it's a documentary piece on music videos and the way they influence our ideas about masculinity, femininity and sexuality. It was very thought-provoking.

Speaking of femininity, my belly dance gala is tonight. This is the first time I've felt ready to not just dance, but smile. I feel confident tonight. I feel comfortable. I'm going to go out there and enjoy it, not just freak out inside and wait for the high to come after I'm done. I'm hoping to be more in the moment.

I find it can be hard to do that on a regular basis, be in the moment. So often I'm either reflecting on the past, what did and didn't happen. Or I'm thinking ahead, about the life I want and what I need to do to get there. I so rarely just live what is happening in the now. I get lost in my head and think forwards or backwards.

So tonight I'm going to try and do just that. Be present on stage, be me, dance, enjoy it, rather than just trying to get through it without screwing it up.

Wish me luck.


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